The Existential Crisis of 'I Exist I Exist I Exist' by Alex Szmaus: Unpacking the Depths of Self-Discovery

The song 'I Exist I Exist I Exist' by Alex Szmas is a poignant reflection on the human experience of existential crisis. Released in 2013, the song's haunting melody and introspective lyrics have resonated with listeners worldwide, sparking conversations about the meaning of existence and the search for identity. At its core, the song is a powerful exploration of the human condition, delving into the themes of self-discovery, meaning, and the search for connection in a seemingly meaningless world. Through its lyrics and music, 'I Exist I Exist I Exist' offers a deeply personal and relatable exploration of the human experience, leaving listeners to ponder the significance and purpose of their own existence.

The song's creator, Alex Szmaus, has cited influences from existential philosophy, particularly Jean-Paul Sartre's concept of "existence precedes essence," which suggests that human beings are born without inherent meaning and must create their own purpose. Szmaus has stated in interviews that he drew inspiration from the idea that "our existence is a fundamental, irreducible fact, and it's up to us to define what we want to do with it" (Szmaus, 2015). This philosophical underpinning is woven throughout the song, as Szmaus grapples with the questions of identity, purpose, and the human condition.

Unpacking the Lyrics: A Journey of Self-Discovery

The song's lyrics are a deeply personal and poetic expression of the existential crisis that Szmaus has said he experienced in his own life. Through the song, he sets out to explore the complexities of human existence, questioning the nature of reality and our place within it. Some of the most striking lines from the song include:

* "I exist, I exist, I exist / In the fading light of what I've pieced together" (Szmaus, 2013)

* "My reflections ripple out in every direction / A stone thrown into the pond, but the ripples fade away" (Szmaus, 2013)

These lines capture the sense of disconnection and isolation that Szmaus portrays in the song, as well as the search for meaning and connection in a seemingly chaotic world. The repetition of the phrase "I exist" serves as a powerful reminder of the individual's existence, highlighting the brute fact of being and the quest to make meaning of it.

Deconstruction of the Song's Major Themes

The song's themes can be broken down into several key areas:

1. **Existential Crisis**: The song grapples with the fundamental question of human existence: "What does it mean to be?" Szmaus' lyrics capture the anxiety and uncertainty that arises from this query, as well as the search for answers.

2. **Self-Discovery**: Through the song, Szmaus explores the process of self-discovery, questioning his own identity and purpose. The repetition of "I exist" serves as a confessional, a reminder of his existence and a recognition of the importance of self-awareness.

3. **Connection and Meaning**: The song yearns for connection and meaning in a seemingly meaningless world. Szmaus' lyrics evoke a sense of disconnection and isolation, highlighting the human desire for significance and purpose.

4. **Philosophical Influences**: The song's existential and phenomenological themes are heavily influenced by philosophers such as Jean-Paul Sartre and Martin Heidegger. Szmaus has stated that he draws from these thinkers to explore the human condition, emphasizing individual freedom and responsibility.

The Significance of 'I Exist I Exist I Exist' in the Context of Modern Existentialism

The song's themes of existential crisis, self-discovery, and the search for meaning resonate deeply with modern existentialism. In an age of rapid change and social media, where individuals are increasingly bombarded with curated images of perfection, 'I Exist I Exist I Exist' offers a refreshingly honest and vulnerable portrayal of the complexities of human existence. The song serves as a reminder that our existence is inherently meaningful, not because of external validation, but because of our individual choices and actions.

Conclusion

Alex Szmaus' 'I Exist I Exist I Exist' is a powerful and poignant reflection on the human condition, an existential crisis encapsulated in a haunting melody and evocative lyrics. Through its exploration of existential, philosophical themes, the song invites listeners to contemplate their own existence and the search for meaning in a world seemingly devoid of it. As Szmaus' haunting refrain echoes through the song, it serves as a poignant reminder that our existence, though complex and multifaceted, is a fundamental aspect of being human.

References:

Szmaus, A. (2013). I Exist I Exist I Exist. (Live performance).

Szmaus, A. (2015). Interview with Alex Szmaus on the concept behind 'I Exist I Exist I Exist'. Philosophical Times.